DREAM PROPOSAL

 Mustered up some courage for the D-DAY to unleash my feelings with a leap of faith but what should I say, heck load of fear and sound running in my body. Got up early or should I say I didn’t sleep that night thinking of what would happen. Was I running on the track or having the thing repeating in my mind and imagining the consequences after all of this. Aaahhh!! These are eating me up. Enough of this , I have to do something. After all the daily activities I started walking to college or should I say running. God! don’t give me a panic attack. I entered the class with normal face expression trying to not to be suspected by anyone, I started to look around for her. I couldn’t find her in the class. Came out and looked around the hall and I didn’t find her. I roamed around the building and finally BINGO! she was sitting on the steps with book in her hand. I was bit relieved after and to be fact much worried. Started walking towards her saying “relax man, you can do it” and I was going to break the silence which I hid for much time. She saw me and waved with a smile and I did smile in return. I was tensed and my body is literally shivering. I sat beside her.

“morning” I started

“good morning” she replied

“ I hope it would be” I mumbled 

“haven’t completed that?” asked her indicating to the book

“not yet” she smiled and dived back into the book.

 I was looking around and my body was sweating and shivering. 

“are you alright?” she noticed me

“yeah, I’m good” pretended like that.

I think she wasn’t satisfied with answer and looked at me keenly and “are you sure?”

I breathed in and out and “see I have something to say and -”

“I’m listening” she interrupted

I closed my eyes for a second took a deep breath “I remember the day when you first time talked to me and it was a fraction of seconds conversation but I still remember it. No-no-…. See forget that, every time I see you, I felt something and to be frank I don’t know what it is and when I wanted to talk to you and finally when I had a chance, I didn’t keep it for a time being. I waited for my second chance and it came after a year until then I waited, I don’t want situations to force me. But it was a worth waiting. And when we started talking, I used to stick at phone for your message. Even when we talked face to face, I didn’t even try to look into your eyes actually I didn’t dare to. But now I can and I am. If you ask what I liked in you and to be fact I don’t have an answer and why should I like one or two in you when I like whole of you WHOLE YOU. But if you particularly ask me, I would say your fingers and don’t take me as wierdo. I love when your fingers lie in mine. I love that feel. I like the way you take care of yourself and that’s best of yours. All this time I was preparing myself mentally for this moment because there will be pain and gain in every stage and I’m trying to get used to it. You are the only one I used to talk a lot and I never thought this would happen. Basically I’m not good at talking with girls but you made me talk to you. I crossed every barricade that came between us and you made do it. Every time you came close to me I wanted to tell you but I didn’t and when I wanted kiss you, I didn’t but I didn’t resist myself from your warmth. Okay enough of this and I don’t want it to be melo-drama. Whatever happens I’m not going to stop at this because you had purpose for your life and that taught me to have a purpose for myself. Finally THANKS for teaching me inspiring me and you are the best part of my journey and will be.” 

I was relaxed and felt relief like taking off some weight from my chest. When I looked at her, she had a confused look at first and it disappeared after a while and I didn’t know what to do so I looked away. And after a moment of silence again I looked at her, she has a slight smile on her face. She kept looking at me constantly and I was out of words.

“why are you looking at me like that” I tried to break the silence, it didn’t work

After some moments “please say something” but no answer, still silence.

“for God sake please say something” I urged.

“MILK PACKET” she answered.

“what??? Come again” I was confused.

“it’s high time, go and get the milk packet” she raised her voice.

“what? Milk packet? What are you talking, are you crazy?” I shouted. Suddenly everything started falling apart like pieces of mirror and the world around me started whirling. 

“what’s going on here? Am I mad or what” I uttered and all I can hear is echoes of milk packet, then I opened my eyes and saw my mom there.

“what, this was all a dream? Damn this LOCKDOWN, it’s ruining my head” I sighed

I stretched my body on the bed and one thought striked in my mind “who was the girl I’m talking to? What the f---, did I forget her? God! stop messing with my mind”

“get out of the bed, lazyhead” my mom thundered

“chill darling” stepped out of all that.

            Anyhow happy FOOLS day   

                                                             -bkk@006