Yet here I am

22 years old.....

1 year 4 months since graduated.....

Failed in 15+ exams.....

Yet here I am writing this.....

*NOTIFICATION BEEP*

A message goes like "Received ₹7000 from Nanna". Brings a slight smile and ends with a deep guilt till it reaches the bottom of the heart, yet here I am sitting alone in a 7 member room writing this trying to move forward ( in sense and tense).

Checking the result of every exam just to see "Thank you for appearing. Better luck next time" after hours of reading, practicing and analysing eventually leading to back and neck pain due to hours of sitting while my thoughts run between cursing 'idiot...stupid mistake' and later consoling myself 'need to do more...hang in there', relentlessly trying to get back to the monotonous routine , yet here I am writing this.

Reluctant to pickup the phone to give partial answers which later followed by hearing a " Sharma ji ka beta" or " Rao ki beti" story , controlling the useless rage under the grip of teeth and blocking the anxiety and nerve breakdown untill the thumb hits the RED button while dealing with later depression and trying to cheer myself, yet here I am writing this.

Amid all these "Better luck next times" , taunts, body pains, sleep battles eventually tending to give up but still getting up at 6AM as the alaram goes off just to remind the thing "another day to fight"

                    Yet here I am.....

                                             Kishore.